KND: Holiday Special
by DC2030
Summary: They're at it again. Another 3 tales relevant to the current season. And it's all non-canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, they're at it again. Who's up for another holiday special that is completely non-canon yet canon? Trust me it doesn't have to make sense. I'll get back to writing my other stories in a bit.**

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**December 24****th**

**KND: Universe Annual Non-cannon Holiday Party **

"Woo!" Numbuh 28 exclaimed as he ran around a Christmas Tree. "It's Christmas Eve!"

"Can you believe we're doing another holiday special?" Lance said as he handed Angelie a cup filled with eggnog.

"Meh. At least we're getting a chapter this time." Angelie shrugged.

"So we neglected turkey day, so what at least we didn't have to kill turkeys." Chad said as he took a bite out of a sandwich. "It isn't like anyone reads these."

"I'm just glad we aren't fighting one another." Nigel smiled.

"Yeah…" Chad slowly glared at Nigel as he chewed.

"Mistletoe?" Hoagie pointed to the plant in Ace's hand.

"Oh yeah." Ace smirked. "I've got a goal, smooch every fine lady here."

Hoagie looked at Ace unamused. "You better stay away from Abby."

"Noted."

"So…" Kayla pointed to Josh's harpoon arm. "How'd that happen?"

"Zoo. Moose. Crocodile." Josh muttered as he removed his launcher to show Kayla what was left of his arm. "Not something I want to happen again."

"I see you aren't drunk this time." Nolan said as he took a seat beside Crystal.

"How was I supposed to know soda could do that to people?" Crystal nudged Nolan playfully.

"-And then, the next thing I know, there's about five guys with swords staring at him menacingly. I actually thought he'd crap himself right there!" Gwen, the former Numbuh 58, stifled a laugh as she told her tale to a crowd.

"Hey!" Doug, the former Numbuh 59, shouted as his cheeks burned bright red. "It was Halloween, how was I supposed to know she was a real Princess!"

"You'd think the fact the party was being held in a palace would be a dead giveaway!" Numbuh 10,000 spoke as he tried to contain his laughter.

"Alright, alright, save the story telling, we only have enough time for three." Rachel said as she put on a Santa hat.

"So, who's telling the stories this time?" Rachel turned to see Carol standing behind her.

"We're following a different structure this time. Lance is telling one, the others I'm not sure." Rachel shrugged.

"Alright everyone! Can I have your attention?!" Numbuh Infinity exclaimed for all to hear. "We're going to begin the story telling now."

Everyone grabbed chairs and other items to sit on as they formed a circle around the fireplace. "So, Lance here will be telling the first story." Numbuh Infinity motioned to Lance, who sat beside Angelie and Gabe. "In the spirit of this month's holiday, we shall be telling Christmas themed stories. So, besides Lance, who else would like to tell a story?"

"I do!" The teen villain, Holiday, exclaimed as he shot his hand up in the air and waved it rapidly.

Numbuh Infinity looked around to everyone else in attendance. "Anyone?"

"Come on, I have such a great story in mind!" Holiday shouted. "It involves killer Santa Robots! And flesh eating Reindeer!"

"Come on…anyone sane? Anyone."

"I'll tell one." Crystal rose her hand.

"Okay, that's two. But due to mandatory contracts we need a third. Who else wants to tell a story?"

"Please! Let me tell a story!" Holiday shouted as he jumped up and down in rage, causing villains such as Cavellero and Ernest to back away.

"That guy has some serious issues." Eva, Numbuh 10, whispered to Ace.

"Look above you." Ace smirked as Eva turned her head, about to ask why, only to find Ace holding mistletoe above them. "You know the rules." Ace said before kissing Eva.

"I guess I'll tell the third story." Everyone turned to see a teen wearing feature obscuring clothing.

"Oh…Numbuh 332…what a surprise…" Numbuh Infinity spoke, taken aback.

"Can my story be about an actual event?" Numbuh 332 asked.

"Sure, why not." Numbuh Infinity said as he took a seat.

"Who's Numbuh 332?" Patton asked Matthew.

"The most obscure OC to ever make cameos in the KND: Universe series." Matthew's eyes lowered as he talked in a serious manner. "The one guy who I can say is just as much as a fan boy as I am. Fun fact, he/she has only appeared in 'KND: 363'."

"…Okay…" Patton said, slightly disturbed by Matthew.

"What? It's non-cannon I break the fourth wall as much as I want!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Okay, so, Lance, would care to tell your tale before someone does something drastic." Numbuh Infinity said bluntly.

"I wanted to tell a Holiday story! I wanted to tell a story!" Holiday shouted before tossing his chair at Pester, hitting the former teen exterminator in the head.

"Well, seems I'm a little too late for the drastic part." Lance joked. "So, let's begin…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, here's chapter 2. Chapter 3 is already done, but I'll post that later.**

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"…_It was Christmas Day at the Moon Base…"_

Lance walked through the halls of the Moon Base, inhaling the cold reprocessed air that filled the KND stronghold. Lance looked over a clip board with several bike requisition forms, filled out by various operatives.

"What does everyone do, purposely crash their bikes or what?" Lance muttered to himself as he approached the Command Deck. The doors to the Command Deck slid open as the motion sensors detected Lance, allowing him to gain entry.

Lance looked up from his clip board to see the Command Deck to be almost deserted. Only a handful of operatives were present. _'The Skeleton Crew.' _Lance mentally stated.

Lance walked up the ramp leading to Numbuh 362's work station, only to find that she wasn't there. Lance raised a brow in confusion.

"If you're wondering where Numbuh 362 went, she left with Numbuh 1 after taking a nap on a bench." Lance turned to see Angelie standing behind him, picking at something he couldn't identify on her helmet.

"Well, that bites." Lance frowned as he held up the clip board for Angelie to see. "I guess I'll give these to her after Christmas." Lance smiled. His smile slowly faded, however, once realizing that Angelie was here working on Christmas Day. "Speaking of Christmas, shouldn't you be with your family, usually only the Prospectors volunteer to run the Moon Base during Christmas."

Angelie shrugged as she leaned against a railing. "Christmas isn't exactly my kind of holiday."

"Any reason in particular?" Lance asked as he set the clip board on Numbuh 362's desk.

"Depends, why do you want to know, biker boy?" Angelie smirked.

"Actually, I'm technically a bicyclist." Lance smiled.

"Not as catchy though." Angelie pointed out.

"Well, yeah it isn't." Lance removed his safety helmet and ran his hand through his hair. "But to answer your question, I'd at least want to make this trip up here worth it, you know, learn a bit about a fellow operative, especially one who I've never exactly seen hanging out in the Moon Base."

"I usually hang out with my team, but they're with their families." Angelie frowned slightly.

"That's my point; you 'usually' aren't here, something happen?" Lance asked concern in his voice.

"Like I said, Christmas isn't exactly my kind of holiday." Angelie shrugged. "Give me Halloween any other day; at least I get free candy out of it."

"Okay..." Lance sighed. "So…what they got you working on up here?"

"Nothing much, It's only me, and the few volunteers up here." Angelie pointed her thumb over her shoulder to the operatives manning computers and conversing over which hamster goes in which chute. "Numbuh 832 let me go on break."

"Numbuh 832? I thought the other kid was in charge." Lance raised a brow.

"He is, he's just down below checking some system or what not." Angelie removed her helmet and set it on the floor. She straightened her hair before crossing her arms. Lance furrowed his brows, obviously thinking. "What?"

"Well…" Lance rubbed the back of his neck. "Why don't you like Christmas?"

Angelie remained silent for some time. Lance stood there, waiting for an answer. "I never said I didn't like Christmas…" Angelie spoke, breaking the silence. "I just said it wasn't my kind of holiday."

"But…why isn't it your kind of holiday?" Lance said. "If you don't mind my prying."

"Family reasons. I don't want to see anyone from my family. And Christmas is kind of a family holiday." Angelie bit her lip as she stared at the floor.

"Oh…" Lance brought his eyes to the floor, embarrassed having brought up the subject. "Uh…sorry if I brought up any unpleasant memories." Lance coughed.

"It's alright." Angelie shrugged. "So, you going to go home now, seeing as Numbuh 362 isn't here to receive whatever you were going to give her."

"Maybe." Lance removed his sun glasses, proceeding to clean them. "My folks are currently doing their thing, I do my thing. I'll probably go and check out the Bike HUB, make sure Numbuh 1818 hasn't taken any spare parts for his 'build a better bike' project."

"Sounds interesting." Angelie said as she placed her helmet back on her head before returning to staring at the floor.

"Not really." Lance rubbed his nose. He placed his sun glasses and helmet back on. He reached out for his clip board as a thought popped into his head. "You know, you're welcome to join me if you want."

Angelie looked up from the floor and smiled. "Thanks. Anythings better than listening to the watch maker over there." Angelie pointed to Numbuh UH-60 as he tinkered with a wooden clock behind Numbuh 832's back. "I'll have to tell Numbuh 832 that I'm leaving, but he'll be alright with it. He's cool."

"Don't worry, even if he doesn't, I can wait." Lance smiled.

Lance watched as Angelie walked down the ramp. Angelie walked up to Numbuh 832 and tapped his shoulder, gaining his attention. "Is it alright if I go now?"

"Meh." Numbuh 832 tapped his harpoon arm on a computer console. "You volunteered for this; you can come and go as you please as far as I'm concerned."

"Thanks Josh." Angelie said as she walked back to Lance. "Merry Christmas."

Josh smirked. "Happy holidays."

"Don't…start…with…that…" Numbuh 72 struggled to say.

"Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, here comes the propelled rock." Numbuh UH-60 sang as he tinkered with the clock.

"Well now, I smell pairing." Numbuh 49 said as he nudged Numbuh 10.01 as he pointed at Lance and Angelie.

"Quit staring at me!" the paranoid commando exclaimed.

"So…shall we go?" Angelie smiled

"Lets." Lance smiled back as they exited the Command Deck.

"_Well now…"_

"…That was nice." Rachel smiled.

"It was romantic!" Kuki gushed, before being pulled into a kiss by Ace as he held his mistletoe above them.

"I hate that guy." Wally glared at Ace.

"Ditto." Kade agreed.

"I didn't get to make a group cameo." Numbuh 94 wiped his nose.

"Cameo" Yin began.

"Time." Yang finished.

Vin Moosk blinked. The Bright Idea picked his nose. The Iguana took a bite out of a sandwich. Nogoodnik snapped his fingers. Numbuh 1-Love drank a smoothie. Al Suhgar poked Principle Smelling. Elfa Strike Team sat around looking over an X-Men comic. Tommy stood on his chair heroically. McGillicutty gave Hoagie thumbs up.

"Cameos" Rack began.

"Over." Ruin finished.

"So, yes." Infinity said, gaining everyone's attention. "Time for the next story. Crystal, if you would."

"Right." Crystal began. "And so…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, heres ch 3. I went back and edited it. So yeah.**

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"…_It was the night before Christmas."_

"So…do we ever get to take a day off?" Crystal, in her Wiccan outfit, asked as she flew on her staff. Beside her, running on roof tops, Nolan, in his Sandman outfit, huffed.

"Well…I never was one for the holidays." Nolan answered as he jumped over an AC unit.

"I mean, we save the city every day from psychopaths, help out the police against teen criminal cells, and we even go out of our way to save people we don't like. I think we at least deserve one day off from the hero stuff." Crystal

"I agree with you, Crystal." Nolan said as he jumped onto another roof. "The thing is though, there just happens to be one holiday themed villain who always seems to get out of the wacko home for major holidays."

"Well, besides Holiday, don't you ever take a day off?" Crystal asked as she flew in closer to Nolan.

"No." Nolan stated bluntly as he climbed up a wall. Crystal ascended upwards in order to keep up.

"So, what's your policy on gifts then?" Nolan didn't reply, opting to remain silent as he looked down to the mall below. "You don't get any gifts do you?"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't get gifts for people either." Nolan walked to the edge of the roof, overlooking the mall below.

"So, have you ever celebrated Christmas or any other holiday before?" Crystal said as she floated by Nolan.

"Sometimes back then…you?" Nolan asked curiously.

"Dad usually worked during holidays, including Christmas. Besides that, I celebrate it with my Mom."

"You know, if you want you could go. Nothings stopping you or anything, this isn't exactly mandatory for you to help me."

"Well, my presents will be there in the morning. I'm looking forward to the new EX-450, the latest in high speed, multi-function, hand held, personal application device." Crystal smiled at the thought of having the device in her possession.

"Is that some sort of cell phone?"

"No, more like a hybrid of a phone, PDA, and super computer on steroids."

"I can never get my head around all these new gadgets." Nolan said as screams began to erupt within the mall. "You can go right now; I can take this guy by myself."

"I think I forgot to mention that I kind of enjoy the feeling of beating down holiday themed sociopaths." Crystal smirked.

"Let's get to it then." Nolan leapt off the roof head first.

"Show off." Crystal shook her head before following.

"No Santa, please don't!" A child cried out as an above average sized Santa Claus Robot chucked a promotional car through a toy store window.

"Yes my Santa Robot, ruin their Christmas Eve!" the holiday obsessed villain, Holiday cackled.

Broken glass fell from above, landing all around Holiday. He looked up to find Sandman swinging from his grapple gun. "I thought you wouldn't show Sandman." Holiday snapped his fingers, causing the Santa robot to come to his side.

"Call off the robot and you won't have to eat through a straw for the next three months." Nolan glared as he landed on his feet.

Crystal descended from the hole in the glass roof, coming to a stop beside Nolan. She hopped off her staff and took up a fighting stance with it. "Can we get this over with, I'd like to go home."

"Sure…in a body bag." Holiday smirked. "Get 'em Santa!" The Robot Santa charged at the duo, swiping his metal fist at the two. Crystal jumped, avoiding the metal fist which smacked Nolan through an EX Electronics Store window.

Nolan groaned as he found himself at the front desk of the currently empty store. Nolan stood, finding an employee hiding behind the counter. "Hey…ugh" Nolan said trying to get the employee's attention. "How much do those EX things cost?"

"450 dollars plus tax." The employee answered slightly frightened as the Robot Santa attacked Crystal.

"Okay, thank you." Nolan ran out of the store, grabbing a metal gauntlet from his cargo pants. He slapped the gauntlet on his wrist, causing the green gem attached to it to glow.

Crystal sidestepped, causing the Robot Santa to miss. Crystal placed the end of her staff to the robot face and pressed her fingers to three sensors, causing a spike to emerge and stab into the robot's head.

"HO! HO! HO!" the robot shouted in a monotonous voice. The robot smacked Crystal's staff away, causing part of its face plate to be torn off, revealing its robotic interior.

"That'll enough of that." Nolan muttered as the gem on the gauntlet began to glow brighter. Nolan's body began to change in texture, becoming a walking sand castle. The sand grains shot forward entering into the robot through its torn faceplate.

The Robot Santa began to spark as sand grains wrecked its insides. The Robot Santa's head blew apart. The robot fell to the floor as sand flowed out of its body. The sand began to form back into Nolan before solidifying.

"How do you get used to that?" Crystal asked as she retrieved her staff.

"I don't." Nolan answered simply as he approached Holiday. "Alright, you know the drill."

"Okay, okay I surrender." Holiday sighed as he got on his knees and put his arms behind his back.

Crystal shook her head at the sight. "Pathetic."

"_Police officers soon arrived, taking Holiday away."_

"So, was that the highlight tonight?" Crystal asked as she and Nolan walked towards the mall's exit.

"Pretty much."

"I think I'll head home, how about you?"

"Nah. I actually saw something neat when I crashed through that store. I guess I'll see you later." Nolan watched as Crystal departed on her staff. Nolan made his way back to the EX store, finding the cowering employee about to close up shop. "Hey, wait a minute."

"What do you want?" the employee asked frowning.

"Do you gift wrap?" Nolan said, pulling a box out of his pouch.

"_It was now Christmas Day."_

Crystal exited her room with a smile on her face. Still in her pajamas, she made her way to her kitchen, finding her Mom awake drinking a coffee out of a mug. "Merry Christmas, honey." Ms. Wickens smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Mom." Crystal replied with a smile. "Dad working again?" Crystal received confirmation in the form of a slight frown from her mother. "I think I'll go and take a look under the tree." Crystal dipped out of her kitchen, walking to her living room and to the Christmas tree.

Crystal found seven presents under the tree. Two addressed for each of her parents and three for herself. She opened the first one addressed for her, smiling as it was from her mother. Crystal tore away the wrapping paper, revealing a one thousand page book. Crystal's smile slightly faltered. "Thanks mom!" She shouted for her mom to hear in the other room.

Crystal took the second present addressed to her. It was from her father. She opened it, revealing the EX-450. Crystal smiled, excitedly. "Thanks dad." She muttered

Crystal set the EX-450 aside and reached for the third gift. Finding no indication from the sender, she tore off the wrapping paper, finding a box. She removed the lid, finding a purple sweater with the number '283' stitched to it.

Crystal blinked as she stared at the number. It was the same one her brother used as a KND operative. Crystal examined the box, looking for any indication of who it's from. Crystal pulled out a note card taped to the bottom of the box, proceeding to read it mentally.

_Not the EX-450, but hope you like it. Merry Christmas, Crystal. –Nolan. _

Crystal smiled. "Merry Christmas, Nolan." She said under her breath.

"_Well…"_

"…I'm happy I made an appearance. You know, being kind of dead and all hurts my cameos." Holiday chuckled.

"Tell us about it." Legion said as they inspected their charred clothing.

"Personally, I think if your story was about Kuki and Wally it would be better received by readers." Numbuh 332 spoke up.

"Okay, now you're breaking the fourth wall." Patton pointed at Numbuh 332.

"The fourth wall has no place in this story." Matthew said as he winked at you the reader.

"But doesn't that kind of interfere with the premise of the-" Virginia began before being cut off by Ace's lips, as he held his mistletoe above them both. Bartie glared at Ace, as did Kade and Wally.

"So, Numbuh 332." Numbuh Infinity said, addressing the obscured operative. "Would you care to begin."

"With pleasure." Numbuh 332 answered. "And so…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, time to end this before I miss the holiday.**

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"…_It ends at a Christmas Party on the Moon Base…"_

Numbuh 362 sat at her desk, overlooking a number of operatives conversing and having a good time. She could see the members of Sector M sharing tales of glory with Sector X. Numbuh 4 was arm wrestling Numbuh 10-Speed as Numbuh 3 and others watched. The 44 twins, Numbuh 11-Teen, Numbuh 149, Numbuh 38.0, and Numbuh 65.3 were all singing Christmas carols.

Rachel sighed. She turned her attention back to the paper work on her desk. She shook her head at the barely readable hand writing. "This hand writing is appalling." Rachel said as she placed the form into the out box.

"Ma'am." Rachel turned to see Numbuh 86 with two mugs of hot chocolate in her hands.

"Hey Numbuh 86." Rachel rubbed her eyes. "Why aren't you enjoying the party?"

"Aye was about to ask ye the same thing lass." Fanny said as she handed one of the mugs to Rachel. "Even when its Christmas Eve, ye got to be workin'."

"Someone has to keep us going, even during the holidays." Rachel said as she looked over a requisition form. "You really should be having a good time, try and make up with some of the operatives who are still mad about the Civil War."

"They can go an stick it with their coal. I ain't apologizing." Fanny smirked.

"Okay then…how about making peace with one in particular…" Rachel's eyes moved to her right as Fanny followed her gaze to Patton.

"Imma forget ye even said that." Fanny muttered.

"No you won't." Rachel smirked. "Now go and have a good time."

"Thanks lass." Fanny smiled.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate." Rachel smiled back as she watched the closest thing to a best friend she had walked off.

Rachel sighed as she returned to work. The sounds of laughter took her attention from the papers. She looked up to see Numbuh 2 holding mistletoe over Fanny and Patton, both whom were glaring at Hoagie and blushing. Rachel brought her eyes back down at the mission statement as more laughter and whistling echoed throughout the command deck.

"You really shouldn't be working on Christmas Eve." Rachel looked up from the form at the sound of a familiar voice. "It really isn't in the holiday spirit."

Rachel smiled. "You're one to talk Nigel, after all, I heard that last year you went on a quest for the mythical thirty-seventh flavor."

"I still think it's out there." The bald brit smiled as he took as seat on a nearby chair.

"It's just a myth. Just like Numbuh Googolplex, the Dark Moon, The Shimmer, and the 'Halo Child'." Rachel removed her helmet and set it aside.

"I remember you saying the same thing about Numbuh Zero." Nigel smirked.

"Okay, I admit, yes I was indeed wrong about that. How're your folks anyways?" Rachel asked as she took a sip out of her hot chocolate.

"They're alright. Just wish my dad would stop asking me to do stuff." Nigel reclined in his chair. "So, how's your family doing?"

"Alright." Rachel sighed. "Mom's being forced to lay off some workers. Dad's currently doing something Christmas related. And Harvey…well…"

"Alright! Sector W is in the house!" Harvey smiled as he and the rest of Sector W entered the Command Deck.

"He's in a rather cheerful mood" Nigel rubbed his chin.

"As long as he's having fun." Rachel shrugged.

"You know, you should be having just as much fun as the rest of us. It's that time of the season and be merry. I don't think working is really a part of that idea." Nigel frowned.

"Well someone has to. If not, nothing will get done." Rachel picked up another paper from the stack and looked it over, rolling her eyes as she read Numbuh 10.01's form for security cameras installed in every corner of the Moon Base.

"Another ridiculous request form?" Nigel raised a brow.

"You have no idea." Rachel nodded as she reached out for a stamp on her desk. She slammed the stamp on the paper, leaving a 'denied' in bright red before putting it in the out box.

"Come on Rachel, one day without the Supreme Leader working can't hurt." Nigel stood up from his seat, rubbing his neck. "Come on, Numbuh M-331 is baking Christmas cookies. And I think he wouldn't mind giving us some."

Rachel looked at the stack of paper on her desk and then back to Nigel. "I'd like that." Rachel said as she grabbed her mug of hot chocolate. She stood up from her seat and walked with Nigel, heading to the Moon Base kitchen where a certain chef has just finished baking a fresh batch of cookies.

"…"

"…The End." Numbuh 332, smiling behind his/her hood.

"Nice story Numbuh 332." Patton smiled.

"Yeah." Hoagie clapped.

"Oh, I'm not Numbuh 332." The obscured figure said.

"Wait what?" Numbuh Infinity rose a brow.

"I am the spirit of Holiday Fan Fiction."

"...Okay..." Father blinked.

"Well, in all honesty, none of us besides Matthew here knows what the guy looks like." Numbuh 206 pointed at the fan boy.

"Hey there." Ace said slyly as he held his mistletoe over Kimberley. Kimberley began to back away before being pulled into a kiss by Ace. "Nice." Ace smiled.

"That's it!" Matthew shouted before punching Ace in the jaw, knocking him out.

"Dude…" Wally trailed off, his eyes wide open.

"What? He kissed my girlfriend, I'm not just gonna let him get away with that." Matthew shook his fist. "What?" Matthew turned to you, the reader. "This is non-cannon, I could do whatever I want."

"Does anyone else think that is kind of out of character?" Harvey said as he took a sip of hot chocolate.

"Pfft." Bob Johnson rolled his eyes as he pointed to the bullet hole in his head.

"Well then." Rachel smiled. "I guess that's it then, with the stories anyways."

Everyone turned to you, the reader and exclaimed: "Happy Holidays!"

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**Whelp...time to get back to work on other stuff.**


End file.
